What to do before Separation or Divorce

03/19/2021 4:59 AM 

Not everyone has been blessed with a fairy tale-like love story. There are many out there that are struggling to make things work. Most started their relationship truly believing that it will last a lifetime. 

The truth is marriage can reveal the best and the worst in one another. How selfish or selfless one can be. Which you only get to see after years of living with the person you married. The question is, when there is no choice but to go on separate ways can you really make it? 

I truly believe that it is harder to recover from a broken marriage if you end up penniless or financially unstable especially if you are to be a single parent. 

#1 consideration is that you are financially equip.

- Minimize your expenses.

- Settle all your debts beforehand

- Open a savings or high yielding account under your own name. Which your partner is not aware of. 

 - Build up your emergency funds, at least enough money for 6-12 months. You may need to list down all your expenses to see how much you usually need in a month.

- If you will be able to buy a property make sure that you don't name it to yourself. You can either name it to your parents or siblings. Just make sure that everything will be well-documented. If you have an insurance, update your beneficiary as well.

- Also, have a retirement plan for yourself. The sooner, the better. 

 

#2 Your Mental Health 

Separation can be mentally and spiritual challenging. But you have to set aside your emotions to make wise decisions.

Who are you living for? Do you have a child or a family who will be deeply hurt with what you are going through? Be strong for them.    

Be near to those who are genuinely concern about your well-being. Depression can attack even the strongest people. Women tend to blame themselves for failed marriages.

All these negative thoughts can cripple you and prevent you from planning ahead. 

If you have a children, securing them will have to be your utmost concern. 

2022

Exactly, a year and a day later. It all happened really fast. Though, I was somewhat preparing for this. It still came in as a surprise. The main reason? Not answering a call properly. 

Let me correct what I've written here a bit. 

With regards to debt, don't let your spouse use your credit card and also make purchases or loan using your name. Never let them use your life savings as well. And if they tell you that paying your monthly social security or 401K is selfish. Leave them.