What to do before Separation or Divorce

03/19/2021 4:59 AM 

Not everyone has been blessed with a fairy tale-like love story. There are many out there that are struggling to make things work. Most started their relationship truly believing that it will last a lifetime. 

The truth is marriage can reveal the best and the worst in one another. How selfish or selfless one can be. Which you only get to see after years of living with the person you married. The question is, when there is no choice but to go on separate ways can you really make it? 

I truly believe that it is harder to recover from a broken marriage if you end up penniless or financially unstable especially if you are to be a single parent. 

#1 consideration is that you are financially equip.

- Minimize your expenses.

- Settle all your debts beforehand

- Open a savings or high yielding account under your own name. Which your partner is not aware of. 

 - Build up your emergency funds, at least enough money for 6-12 months. You may need to list down all your expenses to see how much you usually need in a month.

- If you will be able to buy a property make sure that you don't name it to yourself. You can either name it to your parents or siblings. Just make sure that everything will be well-documented. If you have an insurance, update your beneficiary as well.

- Also, have a retirement plan for yourself. The sooner, the better. 

 

#2 Your Mental Health 

Separation can be mentally and spiritual challenging. But you have to set aside your emotions to make wise decisions.

Who are you living for? Do you have a child or a family who will be deeply hurt with what you are going through? Be strong for them.    

Be near to those who are genuinely concern about your well-being. Depression can attack even the strongest people. Women tend to blame themselves for failed marriages.

All these negative thoughts can cripple you and prevent you from planning ahead. 

If you have a child, securing them will have to be your utmost concern. 

2022

Exactly, a year and a day later. It all happened really fast. Though, I was somewhat preparing for this. It still came in as a surprise. The main reason? Not answering a call properly. 

Let me correct what I've written here a bit. 

With regards to debt, don't let your spouse use your credit card and also make purchases or loan using your name. Never let them use your life savings as well. And if they tell you that paying your monthly social security or 401K is selfish. Leave them. 

 

Pregnancy and Adoption

  

It is every woman's dream to get pregnant. I've been in this quest for more than 6 years now. I've been going to different OB's for the longest time and I find it all so stressful. Though there is this OB that has informed me and my husband to take Glutathione as a supplement this is because my husband had to go abroad for 9 months. Nevertheless, I've still continued on reading blogs and countless forums of ladies out there wanting to have their own little angel. 

    We've started taking Max GXL (Glutathione Enhancer) for more than a year then switched to C24/7 then added Herbalife Nutrition. Aside from consulting doctors, we still try to live a healthier life. 

   Since it has been known by few of our friends and neighbors that we've been trying to have a baby. We've been offered a baby three times. The first baby was sadly sold for a price to someone else. Second, my husband is abroad while I work in a retail store, no one will be left at home to take care of the baby. Recently, a couple in the church shared their experience in adopting a child through DSWD. The processing will take about a year but it is better to do things the right way.

Considering all of these, somehow pregnancy and waiting for a child to adopt are just the same. They can both break your heart when things don't turn out the way you hope it to be. 

Now, that I'm working at home and only accept project-based jobs. This is the perfect timing.

   To consider adopting a baby is never a sign of giving up. It's our way of giving a child a better chance in life. So many times I've cried over unwanted babies that has been aborted or thrown into the trash. I believe that there are a lot of couples out there wishing to hold a child into their arms. No one should wait until they're bearing years is over before taking such steps. And now, we are given that opportunity I just hope that this will be positive this time. 


 

Valentine's Day Dilemma

February is known to be the 'love month.' Love is in the air, heart is everywhere. Everyone is expected to show their love for one another.

Surely, this will benefit a lot of businesses, restaurants, flower shop, movie houses and the like.

On the other side of it. Is that it create a lot of expectations. With us ladies, imagining how that special day will be. Our partner taking us out on a date, giving a bouquet of roses or chocolates. Great if it happens just the way you imagined it but what if, it doesn't?  How will it be then for you? 

Women are different from men. We don't think alike, men are about facts while we based everything on how we feel. Feelings that can get hurt when our expectations are not met. Just like the expectations Valentine's Day creates. 

We, as women also expect that our men have plans during Valentines. Coming from a family with a father who is very expressive over his love for my mother. I, somewhat expected the same from my husband. For our case, it's the other way around. So this Valentine's Day, I bought him a blue rose and booked a vacation in Nasugbu, Batangas. 

Crazy, but love is a two way thing. If you're partner can't do what you expected of him then why not plan it yourself? You'll get the same result and have the opportunity to express your love for your partner just the way you would want him to do so.